Saturday, February 24, 2007

I'm working as a substitute teacher in a local high school and most days I feel like a sheep dog. My job is to corral the students into the classroom, keep them there or keep track of them between bells, and move them on out at the end of the class. Woof!

Often their questions and statements repeat over and over until I hear them as bleating sheep (ok, not really as sheep but I become amused). For instance:

Sheep1: Can I listen to my ipod during class?
Sheep Dog: No.

Sheep2: Can I listen to my ipod while I work?
Sheep Dog: No.

Sheep3: Can I listen to music on my ipod?
Sheep Dog: No.
Sheep3: I'll play it quietly.
Sheep Dog: No.

Sheep4: Can I listen to my ipod during class?
Sheep2: Dude, she already answered that.
Sheep4: So? I can still ask. Can I?
Sheep Dog: No.

Sheep5: Our teacher lets us listen to music during class.
Sheep Dog: (Notes large sign on the wall listing the class rules with #1 - No ipods or cell phones used during class!) You may not listen to music. Please start on your work.
Sheep5: Man, you are MEAN. You are as bad as a real teacher.


Instance #2:

Sheep1: Can I have a pass to the bathroom?
Sheep Dog: Ok, I'll need to see your ID and you will need to sign out.
Sheep1: Ok. (heads back to desk to get ID from backpack - yes, it is supposed to be worn in the open at all times)

Sheep2: Hey, sheep1, where are you going?
Sheep1: To the vending machines.
Sheep2: Can you get me a candy bar?
Sheep1: No, I'm not coming back.

Sheep Dog: I'm not giving passes to the vending machines or for people who are not returning.
Sheep1: Oh no! I busted myself.


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