Here's the deal.
My friend for 20 years and husband for 16 left us (me, three kids) twice in just over a year. It was a huge shock to us the first time and less of a shock the second time. I've, we've, lived the last 2 years in crisis mode. We grieve. We're in therapy. We have been immersed in mental health issues and fallout, medications and diagnoses.
I am in a lot of pain. I felt unable to blog about it; I could barely talk about it with my closest family. I read other blogs and felt supported and helped and not so alone but I couldn't bring myself to comment and here I was silent. I was worried about privacy and linking to my life. I started an anonymous unlinked blog but the whole situation of my life became an elephant in the corner at my party. I became unable to share anything on my blog because I was avoiding that which was affecting me the most.
Lately, I've considered closing down all presence on the web but I decided instead to open myself up. It feels more honest and hopeful.
We'll be ok. We are damaged but hopeful in the main part. We keep going because I don't see a viable alternate. I keep going and doing the best I can for myself and our kids.
I hope I can breathe after this.